Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets
Night of Drinking
A man and his pet panda walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.”
So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my panda.”
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the panda falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.”
To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a panda.”
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a panda sitting next to him.
“Are you a panda?” asked the man, surprised.
“What are you doing at the movies?”
The panda replied, “Well, I liked the book.”
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a miniature panda in the front seat.
“What are you doing with that panda?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.”
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the panda again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
“I thought you were going to take that panda to the zoo!”
The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”